Relationship Troubles.

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Relationship Troubles.

Post  Elmoslayer on Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:20 pm

Yeah, everyone has them. Post them here and recieve our advice, at only $2.00 per post!

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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  Elmoslayer on Sat Nov 14, 2009 1:41 pm



Last edited by Elmoslayer on Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:22 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  Elmoslayer on Sat Nov 14, 2009 5:16 pm



Last edited by Elmoslayer on Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  Skyangel on Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:36 pm

Hi Elmo,

I just read your two posts. I have to say that reading the first one reminded me of a similar relationship I had years ago with a girl who often kept things close to her chest. The one time I had real trouble getting her to open up was when she had found someone else and didn't know how to break the news to me. My own worst fears made me skirt around the one question I didn't want to ask, but when I eventually said, 'Is there someone else?' she started crying and I realised I had found the solution. I don't know either of you so I can't say that this is what is going on with you two here. My advice though would be to give her some space to give her time to think about what she has with you and if she misses you. Contact her and ask her how she is and keep the conversation light if possible so she does not feel pressured. If you are chirpy and sound like you are doing okay instead of pining in a corner it might make her yearn to see you or at least open up more. You could ask her gently but firmly if there is someone else in her life, as it's mean and unfair of her to keep you in the dark about it if there is.

One other thing that is probably worth mentioning is that I know a few young women who have pulled out of relationships because they were unable to face coming out to their parents, and instead chose to try and live a 'lie' for a few more years.If she has fears of this nature it could be a factor that is causing her distress. It's just a thought.

I hope you can sort this out with her soon though.

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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  Skyangel on Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:56 pm

me again!! Smile

I must admit this is the one passage that worries me most. You say she doesn't show you any affection, and yet it seems you are showing her more, and making more effort than you are getting in return.

"She's so...brittle, and everything I do to try and work this out, I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing and she's just going along with it. She won't show me any affection, I'll take her hand or something, and though she won't physically push me away, she doesn't do anything, and I feel like she's rejecting me.

She says she doesn't want to break up, and I've considered just taking a break, but the problem is our not communicating, so I don't think stopping communication altogether will help. I'm not willing to give up on this relationship and I really want to try and get this together, but I just don't know how. I can't stand the fact that I can't remember the last time we had fun together, and all of thi sjust really hurts."

I'm also a little worried about this last line about not remembering the last time you had fun together. It sounds like the relationship might have gotten too heavy too soon and is now weighing down on you both. Early relationships do tend to be very intense at times, and it maybe putting a lot of pressure on you both. It may be good to do some fun things together just as friends, and avoid any acts or talk of love until she makes a first step back to you. Holding hands is a very natural response even between friends so I would recommend continuing that but not read too much into it for the time being.

I'll check back during the week to see how you are doing Smile

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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  Elmoslayer on Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:04 pm



Last edited by Elmoslayer on Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  Skyangel on Wed Nov 18, 2009 3:11 am

Hi again Elmo,

Ahh you guys make me feel so guilty for taking a break! lol I have to do this though. I felt towards the end of part three that my drawing was becoming uninspired and mechanical. Though the art in the very early pages is a lot rougher there was so much passion in it that I never wanted to stop. The storyline in part three was getting to me too to be honest. I tend to flow with the ideas and let most of the story write itself and it seemed to be getting me down towards the end which is why I decided it was about time the girls had more fun. What I have at the moment are just a bunch of scenes I'm looking forward to doing and a skeleton of the storyline, but I have to sit down and write this thing out properly this time as towards the end of part three I was so caught up I was working with the skeleton and nothing else which was really putting me under pressure.
Anyway, you don't want to hear about me and my stuff!!!!!!!!!!lol This business of showing each other the neccessary mutual affection is a frustrating one isn't it. Not knowing either of your personalities I can't think of anything else that could possibly help other than to agree that you recognise the need to get her to open up about whatever is bothering her. Knowing so little of what has happened between you two I can only think that playing it a little cool is probably safest. It's important that she knows you still care about her feelings and happiness but don't scare her away or let her take you for granted by appearing needy. I've been in your position a few times myself and I know how it feels. I know you will be churning this over constantly trying to rationalise it and finding it difficult to distract yourslef from thinking of her. If you're like me you will be shifting between wanting to phone her and tell her how much you miss her to being annoyed with her for putting you through this and wanting to have a go at her! *hugs*

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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  Lunaris on Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:07 am

As Sky knows, I've been having my own realtionship drama for awhile. It's gotten worse though. I still feel crazy about the girl, but she doesn't have the internet to e-mail me, and I don't have a phone to call her. She's moved to another city for school, and I'm stuck here because of a job and money problems.

So...I haven't gotten to talk to her in over a month. I miss her, but I'm missing having someone to talk to. I dunno, just feeling lonely and shit.

So I'm shopping at Food Lion the other day and I get up to the cashier in the check-out lane...and I'm floored. This girl has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. I mean brilliant green, I know I stared for a moment. But it was hard not to. With her fair complexion and dark brunette hair, her eyes were like a beacon.

I started talking to her, just small stuff. Invited her over for lunch sometime.

Then I did the stupidest thing...walked right out without getting her name, or giving her my name or address. And she hasn't been there the last couple of times I've walked to the store.

All this and I know I'm just lonely because I still hold out hopes for the girl I've been trying to figure out how to properly express myself to for two years running now.

Sometimes I feel like life is still trying to find ways to fuck me over. I don't even know what to do anymore. The only serious company I've had for two weeks has been myself and whatever I have the batteries to operate. I haven't even changed locations, just moved closer to work, and none of my 'friends' care enough to visit. I can't get in contact with the one girl I most want to. I can't even sort out half the shit running around in my head.

Pfeh, I'm just lonely and I can't do anything about it, and starting to go a little crazy for want of a companion.

I know that much will pass as I move on and find other things to occupy my time with. But for the immediate, it's a pain in my ass. Sometimes I could really come to hate being human.
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Re: Relationship Troubles.

Post  XREDXR on Fri Sep 24, 2010 8:22 am

but I just don't know how. I can't stand the fact that I can't remember the last time we had fun together, and all of thi sjust really hurts."


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