Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

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Re: Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

Post  Elmoslayer on Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:19 pm

Trust me, being followed home was nothing - my gf got beaten up, kicked in the face and broke a tooth. Then it happened again and she broke a tooth on the other side. Guess they just wanted it to be symmetrical.
But seriously, my school could be in an American movie. It scares me! I used to go to pretty much the worst school in the city, and it was nowhere near this bad. Damn cliques!

And theres no way you could hug me enough to freak me out. I'm like a badass hugging MACHINE. Lol.

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Re: Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

Post  ReiDavidson on Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:53 pm

Tch. I was a tough cookie in high school. I didn't tolerate a like of clique-iness or anything. If someone was a bully, whether they were bullying me or a stranger or a friend, I would pick fights with them.

Don't worry sweetie. I had this frumpy stage that lasted from age 13 to age 18 and then I blossomed and if I take the time, I'm pretty cute now! XD But I know how it feels. I got ugly all the time and people still call me fat.

But looks really aren't anything after high school. Plus I bet you're adorable.
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Re: Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

Post  Felicity on Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:18 pm

Aw, that's awful, Elmoslayer! You'd think now that kids are supposedly maturing earlier, you'd see some sort of evidence of it in schools. But nooo. I really hope you find a way to sort it out. No one should have to put up with that, ever. If only bullies could realize what they're doing when they bully someone! No

(Infinite group hug! xD)
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Re: Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

Post  Skyangel on Fri Mar 27, 2009 4:40 am

Usually past secondary school people are more mature and understanding and this sort of thing happens less.I know you do get it in the workplace at times too, but on the whole people do get older and wiser. When I was at school this belonging to set cliques etc was never apparent and I think we were all pretty equal in that we would have two or three very close friends and know other kids that we sometimes hung around with depending on what was happening on that day. I was always very quiet, so maybe most of the time nobody ever really noticed me. My nickname was actually 'mouse'! lol right through secondary school, but it was an affectionate term, and tho on odd occasions other kids would ask me why I was so quiet in class it never nobody seemed to irritate anyone. The truth is that the biggest bully in my life was my father. he beat my mum regularly, and loved destroying any confidencefamily members had. you couldn't even make a phone call without him picking you apart after for the things you said, the way you said them etc. so i had very low self confidence.
My problems didn't really start until I went to art college after leaving school. I've covered a lot of it in my comic strip but the first year was def the worst. One single guy from my last year at school turned up in my class of 30 students, and he happened to be a kid who had been in trouble with a lot of schools before he ended up at ours. Ironically the only lesson I knew him in at sec school was the art one. Nobody liked him from the day he appeared because he just sneered and taunted everyone around him. a real strange one. Over the years i have read stories of abused childern behaving in the same way he did, and i do wonder if he had deep probs in his private life.
Anyway he was the only guy in my class that I knew too, which was awful. He recognised me and that made him feel comfortable enough to feel he could take the piss out of me to make himself popular. And I think this is what a lot of bullying is about. While you are saying, 'Look at that nerd over there what the hell does she think she is?!' people are studying the bullied and not the bully, which is what they want. Also as a victim myself I was always just relieved and grateful when the bullys eyes were on someone else rather than me. In a strange way it made me happy to know that at least I wasn't the only oddball in the class!
He did get to me, and the worse thing of all is that people did avoid me either because they thought he had a good point, but most probably because any friend of mine would know they would become a target of him too. But that was just the first six months thank god!!! During that time people would talk to me when he wa not around, and slowly I think guilt began to change them. Also as he settled in he began to fel more confident of picking on other people, inc students who were his friends! He alienated himself so much that in the end he had no close friends, and apparently used to just grab people in the corridor and threaten to beat them up for no reason! While I on the other hand carried on being my normal placid friendly self and though I was rarely ever the life and soul of the party i did end up being on friendly terms with everyone else which was really good for restoring my confidence.
What you are going through sounds a lot harder than I had to face, but I think you have to realise that you are not odd.Everybody is individual:

*sings* " If everybody dressed the same, we'd all end up looking like each other".
Everybody wants to be seen as an individual and not a clone, so if you are a goth or a bookworm etc, your identity is what you choose to be, and people understand that. All that has happened is that some bastard has targeted you early on either through lack of confidence themselves or through jealousy and encouraged other people to join in. Treating you like a verbal and physical punchbag is making them feel stronger and more confident.
As to advice, I REALLY think the first thing you and your girl need to do is to tackle this bigmouth that tags along with you about why she is reporting back your conversation behind your backs. it sounds like she does not ralise she has been rumbled, so you can either make her squirm by telling her that she is not a trustworthy friend and that you two have things to discuss which are private and not for the entertainment of the common room OR you could have some fun with her and delib give her false info to confuse her friends about what is true and what is not.
As for the psychology student calling you fat etc. next time he says anything in class that is deragotory to you, shout at him in a big loud voice ' It didn't stop you asking me out in the first place though did it! He will be really shocked and lost for words and people being people, the other students will no doubt rather believe you are telling the truth. And don't deny it to anyone! he has made you suffer, now it's time to make him squirm! Smile

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Re: Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

Post  Emilyelizabethx on Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:03 am

I love that song Sky! XD
Sorry to hear that so many people are being bullied and picked on. Even at the most ground level, it seems that human beings just can't help being mean to one another! Sad
I've been bullied and been in the gang that bullied, though I never was one myself, I wish I had the courage to stand up to them and tell them what they were doing was wrong. But in some ways, it helped me, because I realized that the bullys themselves had horrible problems at home! Even though they seemed so pretty and popular! Also, I realized that the people they were picking on- ordinary people, often, though with low self-confidence or stood out. They used to say the most random things about them, like they were fat or ugly, even when they weren't fat or ugly at all. At one point I even said to them 'why are you saying that, they're normal, not fat or ugly' and they just shrugged. Sad
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Re: Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

Post  Elmoslayer on Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:04 am

Ha! we were going to just that, Skyangel! We were thinking up all the weird things we could say while this girl was around, but in the end we just figured we would keep schtum and let her tell us all about HER life instead. Muahahahahha! (we wouldnt spread it though cos we're good girls Very Happy )

As for the charming Psychology fellow and the Myspace chemistry guy, I'm just going to see what happens, yanno? I havent gone to my chemistry lessons recently to avoid it, so I spose I'll just carry on ignoring it for now. (if I get a letter home about my truancy I'm DEAD)

Interestingly, the myspace guy is gay. i know that should'nt make a difference or anything, but seeing as most gay people get bullied for it at one point or another, you'd think he would be more sensitive to people's feelings. Oh well, you never can tell, can you?

And thankyou everybody for all the advice and kind things you've been saying, Made my day. Smile

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>.>

Post  FoxxinMinx on Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:20 am

Weeeeelll... Due to my absence , Ill have to make up for lost posts

I think its mean and horrible what those people are doing...

I used to get bullied at my old school too , horrible people live in random places...

But cheer up , Itll get better , It usully does , and if it doesnt , where here for you ..

* hugs of such massive quanteties they last forever *
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Re: Feelings of not fitting in anywhere

Post  Guest on Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:17 pm

Elmoslayer, wow, I'm totally late to the topic here but I just wanted to say hang in there and i hope things get better for you. I have to agree with sky on this one because its so true. Once you are done with school you will be surprised how a lot of this catty stuff goes away and doesn't matter anymore. I never got bullied at school, maybe shunned a little bit by some people who knew i was gay, but i left them all behind after high school. And years later, I did run into some of these people and you know, they were very friendly, as if we had known each other well. I don't know if its the passage of time or maturity or a combo of both but things do change. I'm not saying these people are my best friends; I have my own life. People get married, have families, get their careers going or whatever, and in a way i guess it makes the past seem very far away. So things will get better! Don't worry, you're good! sunny

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