Tread lightly

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Tread lightly

Post  greven on Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:50 pm

Lets be honest here: I dont know a lot about LGBT, sure I know a few facts and stuff like that, but that is not what I am thinking of.
I dont know the community, that is partly the reason I am here, but when meeting a group of people who all have something like this in common, one gets a bit... threatened.
The thing is that when I write in here I am being VERY careful not to step on anyones feet, when it comes to the LGBT subject, sure I can take some strange points of view and say some stuff you might not all agree on, but that is not what I am talking about.
I am talking about the small talk, the mentioning of movies, and other things like that, where the LGBT subject is touched in some way shape or form.
I try to keep LGBT talk in any way shape or form out of subjects that are not about it. Say the subject is movies, and everyone is being like "oh I like this movie", and "that movie was such a dissapointment".
Now this is where I will remember movie X and be 2 seconds from writing: "You should totally watch X it is awesome!" But then I remember that this movies touches on the subject of LGBT, and I stop writing.

I hate myself for saying this but I feel like I am talking to someone with cancer.
I am not saying that LGBT is a sickness, I would never dream of saying that, but I do feel like I am talking to someone who is sick.
What I mean by this is that everyone tries to live normal lives, and no one wants to be reminded of the fact that they are different all the time.
When the subject is not about LGBT then I will do everything in my might to not mention anything that could lead the talk to LGBT. Because the way I see it I am digging in something that everyone else have long since gotten over, and I really dont want to bring up the subject when everyone is talking about something else.

I am rambling so let me get to the point here.
I would like to be less restrained by my own wierd sense of right and wrong, so I want to know how you would react if say a movie that does not use LGBT in a good way comes up in a conversation. Because I am afraid to offend or anoy people by bringing a non LGBT topic in that direction. But I only have my own guesses to go on here, and since I have the emotional capasity of a pink tea cup I thought I would ask you how you react if something LGBT is brought up in a conversation.
I will of course not bring anything up if it is something that would annoy people, but I wont really know before I ask you.

Please note that I will never be doing it to be rude in any way, and if you see me step out of line at some point, then please send me a PM so I can learn from my mistakes
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Re: Tread lightly

Post  ReiDavidson on Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:53 pm

homg we don't even care. XD Promise.

So I'll get out all the non-political correctness out right now.

DYKE FAGGOT QUEER HE-SHE RUGMUNCHER BUTT PIRATE UNNATURAL GOD HATED NOT FIT TO LIVE HOMOS! DDDX!!

There. Now, anything you say will never be more offensive than that.
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Re: Tread lightly

Post  greven on Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:09 pm

Heh that sounds good, then let me just add one word that I might use from time to time.

Bitch.

I am really sorry but in Denmark this word is rarely used offencively and I never do so. If I use it, it will only be to underline what I was saying or something similar.

The thing is that many people find the word very offencive, but I just want to make clear that I am not calling you a bitch, I am just using the word because I like to say the word, its got nothing to do with the meaning, just how it is said Smile
Im wierd like that.
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Re: Tread lightly

Post  Joneko on Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:21 pm

Pfff. Sometimes my mother and I jokingly call each other horrible things. If I call her a bitch she says "Yeah, so?"

And as for your nerves...please don't worry so much! You're being good enough to kind of dive head-first by talking about a lot of things you've talked about, and you want to learn more, and that's amazing.

Also, I don't believe in the idea that, if you're LGBT, you get special permission to talk about things others don't. I think that you speak from what YOU see, and that you can only see more by being open to new experiences. And I have a lot of respect for people like yourself who ARE open to those.
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Re: Tread lightly

Post  Emilyelizabethx on Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:09 pm

Joneko wrote:Pfff. Sometimes my mother and I jokingly call each other horrible things. If I call her a bitch she says "Yeah, so?"

And as for your nerves...please don't worry so much! You're being good enough to kind of dive head-first by talking about a lot of things you've talked about, and you want to learn more, and that's amazing.

Also, I don't believe in the idea that, if you're LGBT, you get special permission to talk about things others don't. I think that you speak from what YOU see, and that you can only see more by being open to new experiences. And I have a lot of respect for people like yourself who ARE open to those.

Your mum is awesome! Very Happy

Also, to Greven, don't worry. Very Happy I know very little about the LGBT community. Alot of my friends were gay, transsexual, bissexual, etc, but it wasn't... a thing, you know? It was just something apart of them, like hair colour or eye colour.

So I also hope I don't offend anyone! xD
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Re: Tread lightly

Post  Fly Hue on Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:15 pm

This makes me think about how I live my life in general. I don't try to shove it in people's faces and make it really obvious that I'm gay when I meet someone, because I know there's more to me than that. And that's how I'll interact whenever. I get really annoyed at a lot of flamers because they seem to feel the need to bring up that they are gay in every sentence, where as I'd like to just get past all that. And then there's, like, those gay guys or girls who can't stop whining about how they're so sick of being single and isn't so and so so hot but can't have them, I think gay people tend to be worse about complaining about being single than straight people will. And I like I said, I'd like to move on and talk about stuff that doesn't need to focus on my sexuality, because that only goes so far. I'm gay, I'm single, but I can manage to put girls out of my head and I don't see how this is such a difficult task for so many others.

Now, at the same time, we're all a little repressed. X) A big part of these forums is being able to let loose and talk to people you can identify with but not to the point where everyone has the same things to say as everyone else. The GLBT community spans a wide range of people and lifestyles, so I can totally feel where you're coming from wondering what's it all about, because I'm really in the same boat! I want to meet other 'types' of queers. See how they're like me, how they're different, and sometimes people are so different it doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight, I'm still going to be REALLYSUPERDIFFERENT from them.

And Greven, we all like you. You bring in a really neat perspective that others value and I think it'd be even better if you would open more. Just where we may seem to be interesting people to you, you're an interesting person too. We appreciate your open mindedness and curiosity, and the world would feel a hell of a lot nicer if there were more people like you that we could just unravel around instead of keeping up certain unnecessary social barriers.
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Re: Tread lightly

Post  Jase on Sun Feb 22, 2009 8:12 pm

First off- pink tea cups are VERY emotional. Honest.

But really, I think what you're doing is akin to trying not to insult a black guy for fear of appearing racist. ...Okay, that's not a very good comparison, but I've been working for hours and my brain's frazzled. My point is, you're skirting things out of fear of making things uncomfortable just because we're all gay or bi, when frankly, that's only a tiny part of who we are.
If you want to recommend a movie that depicts homosexuality in a negative light for whatever reason, but is genuinely insightful- go ahead. We're not defined by our sexuality; it's not the only thing that drives us. As everyone's said, they don't mind.

My advice? Don't think so hard before you post something. Just go with basic manners and be yourself.

[/ramble]
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Re: Tread lightly

Post  greven on Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:59 am

The thing is that I do know that the LGBT thing is not a big part of who you are but I am just very careful of nature so I can take a while to really open up.
I seem very outgoing when you first meet me, but I wont actually open up completely till after a good long while, I think I am subcounsiosly making sure that I am not hitting a nerve with a completely random comment.


--->Fly Hue

I am actually doing that Shocked
I would guess that about 25 % of my posts in here explains in some way, shape or form that I am straight.
Again this is actually not something I think about when I write it, though I do notice it when I read through my old posts. What the hell am I trying to prove anyway?

It does seem to be true that LGBT seems to think a lot about being single, while most straight people I know have a more: "whateve" attitude to it.

--->Jase

Really they do? Razz
Yeah I am pretty much trying not to say black or white while talking to a black guy.
Avoiding akward silence was never a strong point of mine, take a look at my post in Introduce yourself, I assume that the silence will be there so as a defence mechanism I take control of it by "intentionally" setting it up from the very beginning... Damn I should never had taken that Freud class, I once did a psychological evaluation of myself based on freud, bad Idea. According to my findings I will most likely end up a murderer Razz


I will try to cut back on the pre post brain activity Smile
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