Gay Group at school

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Gay Group at school

Post  FoxxinMinx on Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:59 pm

Well I'm not really sure what this topic is suppose to be asking or anything , so here goes

See theres this group at my school a click , if you will , and there basically the GLBT group in the school all the GLBT people are in that group and they call themselves " The Gay group" ... Now... This is just how I feel so please dont bite my head off.. and I suppose this topic might fit better in The Red Room but I'm new to this forum so bear with me..

I don't want to hang out with these people.. I'm a lesbian yes... and of course I know these people and there perfectly nice and wonderfull.. But everytime I'm around them ALL they want to talk about is Homosexual rights and Homosexual this and Homosexual that... Now I'm quite proud of my sexuality , and as a person I'm very content with myself... But being a lesbian isn't all that I am by far.. Yes it is a peice of me but you can't just pick up one peice and call it the whole puzzle .. and thats what these people seem to do... I don't know it gets tiring after a while just talking about being gay ( as ive exsperienced when i hanged out with them when my best friend was absent )

Am I alone on this , tell me what you people think?
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Joneko on Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:49 pm

Actually, I'm starting a GLBT community circle at my current Uni, which doesn't have any groups for that group. But at my last university, I stopped attending the LGBTQQIA because...yes, that was all they spoke about. I think in some cases the groups are part support group, part political action group, part educational group. In order to make it less about constant politics they started smaller discussion groups, a men's and a women's, and a trans chat group, but the topics there were often stale and ended up veering so far off-topic it was ridiculous -- or else, the same two people talked back and forth hoping for someone else to break in.

At least in your case, since it's a high school, I can say that it might be because it's a relatively new realization for folks your age -- that they're gay, that there are gay politics, that there's a whole world out there, etc. etc. So maybe, as some of this clique get a little older and a little more used to themselves, the topics of conversation may vary.

Also, you have to remember that just being GLBT isn't always enough to make a friendship. What do you have in common? ...that you're GLBT. So what is there, as far as you know, to talk about, that everyone has experienced in some way or another? ...being GLBT.

Maybe what you can do is try to find some common ground that has NOTHING to do with politics, and see where that leads you, if you ever decide to try chatting with this group again.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  FoxxinMinx on Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:55 pm

Joneko wrote:Actually, I'm starting a GLBT community circle at my current Uni, which doesn't have any groups for that group. But at my last university, I stopped attending the LGBTQQIA because...yes, that was all they spoke about. I think in some cases the groups are part support group, part political action group, part educational group. In order to make it less about constant politics they started smaller discussion groups, a men's and a women's, and a trans chat group, but the topics there were often stale and ended up veering so far off-topic it was ridiculous -- or else, the same two people talked back and forth hoping for someone else to break in.

At least in your case, since it's a high school, I can say that it might be because it's a relatively new realization for folks your age -- that they're gay, that there are gay politics, that there's a whole world out there, etc. etc. So maybe, as some of this clique get a little older and a little more used to themselves, the topics of conversation may vary.

Also, you have to remember that just being GLBT isn't always enough to make a friendship. What do you have in common? ...that you're GLBT. So what is there, as far as you know, to talk about, that everyone has experienced in some way or another? ...being GLBT.

Maybe what you can do is try to find some common ground that has NOTHING to do with politics, and see where that leads you, if you ever decide to try chatting with this group again.

No no no , I'm not saying that perpously made GLBT groups are bad or anything , Infact I love this site for that perpous that there are people here who accept me for who i am...
It just seems the way they do it to be childish .. they approach it in a , IM ME , if you dont like it Eff yourself ... and ive never been one to do that... Maybe its just me , I dont know, i mean i speak my mind if its imprudent that i do so ... but other than that .. there not an offical group and the term gay group is more to poke fun at themselves , but I just don't know..
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  greven on Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:57 am

Let me put it this way.

I am a gamer, I am part of a quite a few gamer foras and even a game creating group.
You know what these things have in common with your problem? Off topic.

Every forum has an Off Topic forum and even when I am talking with the guys I help with the game creation games is something we only talk about somewhere around 30 % of the time. To put things in perspective: We joined this group to find people with the same hobby, but in end we dont talk about it all the time, as we all thought we would.

I am not saying that your sexuality is a hobby, I am saying that any group where you grow close to the people in it, becomes about more than just the subject of the group.
We might not talk about games all the time, but I know that I can bring up games at any time and everyone will know what I am talking about and be ready to join the discussion.
I am not trying to tell you whether to join or not, I am just trying to get the point across that no good group should be solely focused on the subject of its creation. Even GLBT groups should be all about creating friendships, friendships where you know that if you need to talk about LGBT then you can.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Jase on Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:31 am

Joneko wrote:At least in your case, since it's a high school, I can say that it might be because it's a relatively new realization for folks your age -- that they're gay, that there are gay politics, that there's a whole world out there, etc. etc. So maybe, as some of this clique get a little older and a little more used to themselves, the topics of conversation may vary.
That was sort of what I was going to say- in short, the realisation is still a novelty for them, as opposed to "just" a part of their lives. Right now, it feels like their lives revolve around it, because it can change your life, and it's still all new for them. Once the novelty wears off, they'll realise it's not who they are, but just a part of their lives.

Another point brought up is that being GBLT is all they/you have in common (or are aware of, at least.) Now, when I was in school, I hated hanging around with other GBLT people because I had nothing but my sexuality (which I was still confused over) in common with them. My best friend and I would talk about metal and rock music; her dad's gigs; we'd sit there and discuss religion, and psychology (although we never put a name to it, that's what we were doing), video games, etc. Whenever I tried to talk to the other GBLT people, or members of the GBLT community, they always wanted to discuss their taste in music (somehow always different to mine), or movies, or- most commonly- people.
I always valued being able to talk over just... having a similar sexuality. This is the first GBLT community I've been able to stand being a part of for more than a day or so- simply because my tastes differ from the norm, and therefore, from other GBLT people. (It doesn't help that I'm far from being a stereotypical gay guy in how I think, feel, react, act- and so on and so on.)
...Aaaanyway, I managed to tangent. (It's a skill of mine!) My point was just to back up the point already made. xD
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  greven on Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:11 am

Jase wrote:I always valued being able to talk over just... having a similar sexuality. This is the first GBLT community I've been able to stand being a part of for more than a day or so- simply because my tastes differ from the norm, and therefore, from other GBLT people. (It doesn't help that I'm far from being a stereotypical gay guy in how I think, feel, react, act- and so on and so on.)
...Aaaanyway, I managed to tangent. (It's a skill of mine!) My point was just to back up the point already made. xD

Yay! we are not hated lol!

You know you never said why you could take being part of this community, is it different somehow? I wouldnt know, havent been a part of a lot of them.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Jase on Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:56 am

I think it's because there's a variety of discussion which isn't centred around interests; although comics do play a part, which is something I'm interested in anyway. xP
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  ReiDavidson on Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:42 am

Part of the reason I made a Clubhouse and a Den is so we could discuss non-GLBT issues... because well... I don't wanna talk about that all the time either!
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Ulrika on Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:06 pm

that was always the thing that annoyed me in GLBT communities, like closing for other topics than homosexual issues. My colleague gathered a kind of group like this, and I was always feeling strange, as it was mostly like, we're gay/lesbian so we must concetrate on only those things that are g/l, and sometimes I got the feeling like thay were trying to tell that we're better than the rest of the society. A going out for a club that isn't a gay bar was almost like a crime, because if you're gay/lesbian you must go to a lesbian/gay clubs, same was with music and films, if you're a lesbian you MUST listen to Tegan and Sarah and watch L word otherwise you're just a fake lesbian. Gosh, it was sick. But a similar thing I found on a one lesbian site/forum I was once very active on as well as my girlfriend. Once we got a proposition to take over the part that dealt with music and each week write a review of some new CD. After the first review we got a reprimand as we wrote a review about a band that was not LGBT and what is worse consisted of a few guys Rolling Eyes then they explained it to us that we must only write about lesbian releases or if there's not any lesbian release then we can write about some female singer who is consiedered cute by the lesbians Laughing it was too ridiculous, so we quit. I just don't get it, when we want to be accepted by the rest of the society, we still tend to divide people into gay and str8. ( I think I complicated a bit of this post, but I hope you'll understand my point)
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Joneko on Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:29 pm

I understand completely.

And I really don't like the L word.

Which alienated me from a lot of the lesbians and bisexual females in college, because they literally all hung out and had L-word watching parties. I'd had a good friend too, from whom I ended up breaking off, because she only ever talked about LGBT history and politics, and when I brought it up, she acted like I was a traitor to my sexuality.

It's a trend. I wonder if it's because people aren't secure enough in themselves to mingle?
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  greven on Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:39 pm

Joneko wrote:I wonder if it's because people aren't secure enough in themselves to mingle?

What else could it be? I mean why else would mister and misses straight be so afraid of "catching the gay".
One of my classmate put it nicely just today actually: "I've got nothing against gay people... as long as they dont hit om me."
I think a lot of people think like that.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Joneko on Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:42 pm

So "I have nothing against straight people...I just don't want to do straight-people stuff"?
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  greven on Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:50 pm

Joneko wrote:So "I have nothing against straight people...I just don't want to do straight-people stuff"?

Hehe dont read me litterally. (I am proudly wearing the writer badge today Razz )
Look I have for been hit on by gay people for a few years (aparently I am "cute" to danish gay guys) and it never really bothered me, I had no interest in them but I was completely rock solid sure I was straight, so I just thought it was fun, and wierd.

But I think that if there is a nagging doubt then you want to distance yourself from anything that can tip the balance sort of speak
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Joneko on Mon Mar 02, 2009 5:57 pm

But then, what about what we're talking about here, the GLBT kids isolating themselves? Are they afraid they might be straight?
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  greven on Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:06 pm

Joneko wrote:But then, what about what we're talking about here, the GLBT kids isolating themselves? Are they afraid they might be straight?


Aye. that be my theory. Well no they are not afraid of being straight, they are afraid of loosing the personlity they are building. Take skater kids, they build their identity around that and makes sure nothing interfers with it. So my guess is that these kids builds it around being gay so they do all they can not to seem... not-gay.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Joneko on Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:19 pm

That makes a lot of sense, what with the teenage years being such a time of change and identity-formation...

I'm going to have to go read about this some now.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  greven on Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:33 pm

Joneko wrote:That makes a lot of sense, what with the teenage years being such a time of change and identity-formation...

I'm going to have to go read about this some now.

No need to read about it. I saw high school musical with my sister the other day. Fritening insight into the world of teenagers.

2 skaters:
"I play the chello"
"AWESOME!.. whats that"
*mimics playing a chello*
"A saw!?"
"No dude its like a big violin"
*EVERYONE FREAKS!*
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Joneko on Mon Mar 02, 2009 7:47 pm

"Stick to the Status Quo," yus, probably one of the smartest numbers in the movie from what I've heard. But now I'm really fascinated and want to read more and maybe understand the more specific problem FM put to us, down to its roots.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Fly Hue on Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:36 pm

You know... I actually kind of ENJOY being the token gay in my group. I'm just kind of there, I'm gay, I provide the queer input if and when needed. It's cool. I'm chill like that. B)
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Jase on Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:31 am

Ulrika wrote: A going out for a club that isn't a gay bar was almost like a crime, because if you're gay/lesbian you must go to a lesbian/gay clubs, same was with music and films, if you're a lesbian you MUST listen to Tegan and Sarah and watch L word otherwise you're just a fake lesbian.
There was some of that floating around the GBL community when I was younger. (I say GBL, because I'm fairly sure there was an absense of any trans- although my town isn't all that trans-friendly, to be honest.) It wasn't to a point of being "a fake lesbian" but you instantly became less interesting.

One thing we had here was the "bi-wagon", which is that there were two different mindsets- those who thought it was "cool and different" to be bisexual, and therefore hopped on the bi-wagon and pretended to be bisexual; and those (generally the GBL people) who saw the bi-wagon as being rediculous, but unfortunately assumed most people who claimed to be bisexual were doing it for the attention of being different. That put those who were genuinely bisexual in a tricky position, and they generally stayed quiet around both groups; which unfortunately then led to them (us) potentially missing out on getting with those of the same gender if they met the right person, since they didn't want to speak up.
It was wierd. Gays were fine, but bisexuals got a lot more flak, since it was assumed they were doing it for attention, or because they were "greedy" and just didn't care who they slept with. (Unfortunately, a reasonable assumption to make, since I personally knew more people who fit into one of those groups than I knew "genuine" bisexuals.)

...Sorry for the rambling!
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  ReiDavidson on Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:13 am

My friend Kat likes to joke with me all the time when we go out.

"Rei, come here!"
"Why?"
"Come make out with me!"
"... Why?"
"There's a cute guy over there!"

She's not serious, but she is making fun of girls who are "Bi for Guys."
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  ReiDavidson on Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:14 am

Also, no one should ever watch the L-word, ever, unless it's to touch yourself to the punk-looking chick.

*totally jk* XD
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Fly Hue on Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:41 pm

Yeah... I saw a few episodes... wasn't that into it.

An I'm one of those people who steer away from Bis. I'm in highschool though, so I think I have some sense in doing so. Once I'm a bit older I think I'll be able to drop my defenses, but right now I'm not ready to take the risk of getting too close to bisexuals. :/
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  greven on Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:57 pm

I have never met someone truly Bi, they have always been to one side or the other BUT: they thought it was hot, or girls just kissed better or something like that.
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Re: Gay Group at school

Post  Joneko on Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:10 pm

I have some friends who really just don't care which gender you are, but not because they don't see gender, because they like both. It's actually pretty cool; it's like...monogamous 'free love'. ...and then there's a friend of mine who really is all about the 'free love'. Oh the stories x3
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