Money Troubles

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Money Troubles

Post  Jase on Fri Apr 03, 2009 3:24 pm

I don't expect anyone to help about this. In fact, I don't want pity either. So I'm not sure why I'm posting this- I think I need to get it out of my system to feel better.

We're financially in trouble. Actually, it goes beyond trouble now, really.
About nine months or more ago, I quit my job. There were various reasons, from stress over a manager harassing me, to his consequent firing and my involvement (and knowing that it was for a different reason entirely, and that the company didn't care about the bullying because I was just a woman), to trying to deal with essentially being male, to the job itself being horrible, stressful, and poorly paid. The idea was that I find an office job, get paid more, and things would pick up.
Well, things weren't so bad in England then- that was when things were just starting to nosedive. Things got worse and worse here, and job hunting yielded nothing. I eventually turned back to retail (which I REALLY didn't want to do) but still- nothing.

We've reached the stage where we're literally living off £50 a month. Richard gets paid £800-£1000 a month; our rent is £550. Our loan repayments combined come to another £200. Add onto that bills, and we can barely afford food.
It's got rediculous. We've been washing the clothes without washing powder, because we can't afford to buy any. I'm living off one meal a day, since I don't actually work; Richard's living off two or three, although we've run out of breakfast stuff, so I'm not sure what he's going to do now. (Oh yeah, and he's diabetic, so he's SUPPOSED to eat three to four meals a day, and eat properly.) Our meals tend to comprise of rice and a single tin of whatever value stuff we've picked up. I haven't had my hair cut for two months and I hate it- I've started asking around to see if anyone I know has hair clippers, because I'd rather have it all shaved off than have it this length or longer, it's one of the key things with me looking half-way male. I'm wayyy overdue for an eye test, but I can't afford one; and I know Richard's is coming up soon, he gets his free because of his diabetes, but if he needs new glasses he can't get them.
In short, we're wayyy below the poverty line. Needless to say it's stressing me out and getting me down.

I think the reason it's getting to me so much today is because I had savings as a child, and a few years ago my mother put them into an investment ISA, and the money couldn't be touched for a few years. At first she said I'd get it before my upcoming birthday; then she said April (my birthday's the beginning of May.) Today I called her, and she said I probably won't get it until June at the earliest.
At the end of this month, I have £80 of bank charges coming out, and we have a £200 electricity bill due then as well, in addition to everything else. If you work out how much money we usually have left over you'll see the issue.
I just don't know what to do. I think I've given up.
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Re: Money Troubles

Post  greven on Fri Apr 03, 2009 6:22 pm

Yeah just reading this is kind of akward because it is not something that is usually talked about in places like this, and for good reason: It is kind of hard to talk about.

Its like,I want to help but at teh same time I doubt that any of us hare drowning in gold here, I dont have problems like you do so if you are really on the shitter at one time I can lend you some money, not much mind you I am a student so not walking golden myself. I just dont want it to become something you have to rely on, and I am sure you feel the same way.

Like I said it is kind of hard to talk about.
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Re: Money Troubles

Post  Jase on Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:57 pm

Yeah, it is. I just really needed to let it out, I think.
I think what bothers me most is that it bothers me so much, if that makes sense. Everyone wants more money than they have; but when I see people in the supermarket, loading up their trolleys with stuff they WANT, and I'm eating rice one a day... it makes me feel really envious. Everyone wants more money, but there's a point where not having as much as you want starts seriously affecting your quality of life. I'm not sure where you draw the line between "want" and "need" when it comes to money- I don't NEED a hair cut, I don't NEED washing powder or washing up liquid, I don't NEED to eat properly- I still have a roof over my head, and I'm not starving, and we have electricity and hot water and working appliances (mostly). We don't NEED more to survive- but does that mean that "need" is defined purely by what will keep someone alive, or by what will give them a decent quality of life?

...I'm rambling.
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Re: Money Troubles

Post  Emilyelizabethx on Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:48 am

Capitalism is a bitch.
I know exactly how you feel. Poverty is a horrible trap. Once you're in the poor trap, its very hard to get out. But I'm sure things will get easier. *hugs* The thing is, with Capitalism, whenever there's a downfall, there's a boom afterwards. We just have to get through the downfall first.
I think its sick to live in a society where you have to pay to live. But then again, I think capitalism is a sick, disgusting system in general.
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Re: Money Troubles

Post  Joneko on Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:56 am

I understand completely how you feel. For a bit in Little Rock, during my term of service, I was doing one meal a day more or less, which sometimes consisted of crackers leftover from my takeout days; for me it wasn't the want and need that finally got to me, but when I was sneaking leftovers from the teachers' lounge, or finding myself pondering how quickly I could get the uneaten extras from the students' lunches from the garbage can before they were considered 'dirty'. Yeah I didn't tell my parents that one. One of the girls in the corps was just using febreeze on her uniform because she couldn't afford to do laundry.

Fortunately in my situation, my parents sent me money when they figured out I wasn't eating, and I could mooch occasionally off roommates, or coworkers' doggy-bags, those who had second jobs and extra money.

It may be hard to do but I would suggest looking for a food pantry in your area. Hold out a hand to some people in the community and see if they can take it and help you. Richard is a diabetic -- maybe there's an association for diabetics that has a local, or even not-so-local chapter, that could understand the health risks of your guys' current living situation and offer assistance, maybe in the way of food or even medical care. I can't remember if there are any LGBT organizations around your area, but if you make them aware of your situation they might be able to help you as well, or point you in the direction of help. A lot of times we forget that we have advocates out there that are willing to help us, no matter what the help we need may be.

And if you ever need anyone to talk to about it, or to share...methods of working within the situation, I'm listening. It is something that's hard to talk about and I completely applaud you for being brave enough to do it here.
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